> "Hello, is this the RCMP?" 
> 
> "Yes. What do you want?" 
> 
> "I'm calling to report my neighbour, Mike Fitzpatrick! He is 
>  hiding marijuana inside his firewood." 
>   
> "Thank you very much for the call, sir." 
> 
> The next day, the RCMP officers descended on Mike's house. They 
> searched the shed where the firewood was kept. 
>  
>  Using axes, they busted open every piece of wood, but found no 
>  marijuana. They swore at Mike, he swore at them, and then left. 
>  
>  The next day, the phone rang at Mike's house... 
> 
> "Hey, Mike! Did the RCMP come to your house?" 
> 
> "Yeah!" 
> 
> "Did they chop your firewood?" 
>  
> "Yep." 
> 
> "Happy Birthday, Buddy."